phantasmagoric waltz
by Midnight Monochrome
Summary: Between the good and the bad, sometimes they just all wished they could go home. /prompt!fic/
1. red

**disclaimer: this would be not andrew hussie.  
summary: Between the good and the bad, sometimes they just all wished they could go home.  
notes1: uh, this is me killing boredom while on a roadtrip and attempting to write for homestuck.**

* * *

chapter 1:

_red_

* * *

While Terezi may have learned to see with her other senses when she was barely older than a little wriggler, she had not always been blind.

She remembers colours as they were when she could see, always has been able to. She remembers the neon green of her recuperoon slime, the teal color of her blood, and the bright red of one of Sollux's eyes.

Ah, red is a colour that she knows best.

She's become severely infatuated with that colour, really; it is her sopor slime, it is her heaven, it is her addiction.

She thought she had found her only source of it in Karkat, with his pretty candy red blood flowing under that gray sheet that covers everyone. She could spend all day just inhaling every fiber of his scent. Terezi knew that while he was ashamed and embarrassed of his blood colour — though she never thought those were the right adverbs; more like terrified and frightened — she thought it could overrule even little fish queen in terms of royalty.

To her, he was a better leader than any of them could ever be.

She remembers slowly becoming flushed for him, remembers how marvelous it was when her feelings became as red as the blood flowing through his veins, remembers when he felt the same way (or, at least she assumes he did). And most of all, she remembers how despite the fact that they were all on a meteor heading towards their imminent doom, everything was perfect for just one second.

And then that second was over.

* * *

**endingnotes: i had no idea what happened with this so yeah. **


	2. 4 am

**disclaimer: i apologize for everything i'm about to do.  
summary: Between the good and the bad, sometimes they just all wished they could go home.  
notes1: so i don't choose the pairings otherwise everything would be john/karkat.  
pairing: john/rose.**

* * *

chapter 2:

_4 a.m._

* * *

**- ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 4:02 -**

EB: hey, rose

EB: what's up?

EB: seeing as we're, y'know, in different universes and stuff

EB: i think whatever you're doing is probably a lot more important than what i am

TT: Well, besides thinking about imminent doom and trying to conjure up a plan to defeat our super-powered Bec Noir

TT: Not much, really.

EB: oh.

EB: well, i dunno

EB: i was really just kinda bored and thought we could talk

EB: but if you're that busy i'll just leave you be.

TT: Oh, no, it's fine.

TT: We're not doing anything at the moment.

TT: We actually just ended a very long meeting.

TT: I would love to chat with you at this moment, John.

EB: are you being sarcastic?

EB: i can never really tell with you anymore.

TT: For once, no.

TT: Anyway, what do you want to talk about?

EB: i dunno

EB: i figured we could just chat

EB: like we used to

EB: before any of this

TT: Isn't it fascinating how far away the time before "any of this" was?

TT: When in reality it's only been a little over a sweep.

EB: "a sweep"?

TT: I'm afraid I've been spending far too much time with trolls.

TT: More specifically, Kanaya.

EB: which one is that again?

EB: the one who types as a capital with every word?

TT: That would be her.

TT: We happen to knit together.

EB: hahaha rose, you would find a troll who shares your weird hobby

EB: only you

TT: I'll have you know knitting is a perfectly normal hobby.

EB: yeah

EB: if you're 80 or amish!

TT: Shush, you.

EB: :B

EB: haha, that sounds like the rose i know

EB: not the one worrying about all this dark shit

EB: everything's not your responsibility, you know.

TT: In actuality, it probably is.

TT: Despite the fact that Terezi may also be a Seer, she's not nearly as talented as I am.

EB: don't let dave hear you say that

TT: Oh, it's not in malignancy or anything.

TT: Both of us have come to agreements that I'm a far better Seer than she is.

TT: She hasn't used her abilities nearly as much as I have.

TT: And, well, her talent is in a different way than mine is.

EB: oh

EB: well

TT: Anyway.

TT: I'm the only Seer we've got, and while I'm not positive, I think I'm the only one who can speak to the Horrorterrors.

EB: can't you ever take a break though?

TT: What am I doing right now?

EB: this isn't a break.

EB: this is being conveniently off-duty.

TT: Touche.

EB: i kinda miss you, rose

TT: We've never even officially met face-to-face.

EB: but i can still miss you

EB: we've been off doing crazy things

EB: we don't get to talk like normal teenagers should

EB: are we even teenagers yet?

EB: i don't remember anymore.

TT: Even if we aren't by Earth standards for age, I think we deserve to be deemed "teenagers".

TT: Hell, quite honestly, I think we should be considered adults.

TT: With all this bullshit and madness we've been put through.

TT: But I suppose I understand what you mean.

TT: I have also been expressing feelings of longing and remembrance towards the memories of our conversation dynamic from the past.

EB: speak english please.

TT: I really hate it when you make me feel embarrassed.

EB: ?

TT: I miss you, too.

EB: why would that make you feel embarrassed?

EB: i just said the same thing silly! :)

TT: I cannot fathom how oblivious you are.

TT: Really, it is just quite a mystery to me.

EB: hey!

EB: i'm not oblivious!

EB: i mean okay, maybe i'm a bit slow

EB: but i'm not oblivious

EB: and what do you mean by that anyway?

TT: Case and point.

EB: heeeeey!

EB: it's not fair to say that when you don't explain anything to me

TT: Just the simple fact that you need it explained therefore means that you are oblivious.

EB: i do not think that word means what you think it means.

TT: On the contrary, Mr. Montoya

TT: I think it is you who does not know the true meaning of that word.

EB: i love how you knew my quote.

EB: :D

TT: Who wouldn't know it?

TT: It's a classic.

EB: i have to admit that aside from all my Nic Cage movies, it's in my top ten

EB: but none of the trolls know it anyway

EB: with their shitty troll movies and all

TT: Well, if it helps any

TT: Which it might not

TT: Know that if there were any internet to watch illegal movies on

TT: I would watch all the movies in the world with you.

EB: actually, that does help a lot

EB: that makes me feel really awesome

EB: thanks, rose!

EB: you know you've always been pretty good to me

EB: even when we first started playing sburb

EB: you wanted to play with me first

TT: Well, I was pretty positive you were the only one that would play with me.

EB: but that still means that you KNEW me

TT: Ah, I suppose so.

EB: you're so amazing rose :)

TT: Well, you're pretty amazing, too, John.

TT: Despite the fact that you're a little brainless

EB: hey! :P

TT: You're a brilliant leader.

TT: Probably due to your prevailing optimism.

TT: Just listening to you and your happiness can usually make my day brighter.

EB: really?

EB: :D

EB: wow that feels so cool

TT: I thought you might appreciate it.

EB: hahaha man

EB: i wish we coulda gotten to spend some real time together

EB: i mean sure i kind of have everything i need

EB: but ever since jade left it's pretty lonely

TT: But you still have everyone that's left to talk to via Pesterchum.

EB: but most people don't really wanna talk to me.

EB: karkat just yells at me all the time

EB: specifically about movies

EB: jade and dave will be on sometimes

EB: and i dunno

EB: i'm pretty awkward with everyone else

TT: I really didn't realize it was quite that lonely.

TT: But now that I think about it, it must be horrible.

EB: kinda sorta maybe.

EB: but besides the lack of human (or troll for that matter) contact

EB: i think the worst thing is the quiet

TT: The quiet?

EB: rose, have you ever heard a silence that is so deathly soundless

EB: that all your hope just disappears

EB: and all you can do is think of your imminent doom?

EB: a silence where,

EB: eventually,

EB: you start hearing things that aren't there

EB: like your friend's screams

EB: and jack's laughter

EB: and it fucks you up to the point that all you can do is just lay on the floor

EB: in a puddle of your own self-loathing and misery?

EB: that's what the silence is like here.

TT: Oh.

TT: It occasionally comes to us here.

TT: It's why we've tried to form bonds with everyone that we can

TT: So that we can keep ourselves occupied.

TT: So that we don't have to think about that stuff.

EB: well, you guys are lucky i guess.

TT: What do you do to combat it?

EB: i play movies over and over again

EB: sometimes i'll change it

EB: but i've seen them all so many times now

EB: it doesn't even matter whether i replay a single one 5 or 10 times anymore

TT: You know, John, I miss the way we were, too.

TT: I miss when the only thing I worried about was my flighty broad of a mother.

TT: And I think I'm not the only one who isn't as happy as I used to be.

EB: it's hard, rose.

TT: I know.

TT: How about we make a deal?

EB: ?

TT: I'll try to think less about the dark stuff, and you just stay the happy John that you always are.

EB: i'll accept

EB: on one condition.

TT: And what is that?

EB: send me a picture of your smile.

TT: Oh, you.

* * *

**endingnotes:**** this was totally supposed to be a more upfront love confession. woops.**


	3. heart

**disclaimer: ha, you're funny.  
summary: Between the good and the bad, sometimes they just all wished they could go home.  
notes1: i love the random ideas this woman gives me.  
pairing: aradia/sollux.**

* * *

chapter 3:  
_heart_.

* * *

Sollux remembers the time they were close.

He remembers the late nights spent on Trollian, just talking, and even the occasional visits to (mostly) her hive. He remembers the deep connection that they were able to share, despite living in totally separate mindsets. He remembers the way his heart pitter-pattered — in the disgusting words of one of Karkat's romcom's — the first time he saw her beautiful smile.

Jegus, Aradia was beautiful to say the least; and not only that, but wise, too, which was a quality that Sollux thought was far too difficult to find.

He thought that she could, quite possibly, be the only troll who could ever understand him enough, while also giving him whatever space he needed. She was breathtaking, she was heart stopping, she was everything he could ever need — but in no way was she suffocating. It was like the perfect troll had been created, just for him.

And then everything changed.

When she became a ghost, she just wasn't the same anymore. Though he could tell that she tried, it was obvious that she didn't have a heart to feel flushed, anymore. He could tell in her vacant smiles and empty voice that his Aradia just didn't quite exist anymore.

But he knew that deep down, somewhere, she lived on, despite the fact that he let her go.

No one will know how much he cried the night she told him goodbye with her last, dying voice.


	4. chrome

**disclaimer: nu uh.  
summary: Between the good and the bad, sometimes they just all wished they could go home.  
notes1: natasha helps me too much.  
pairing: slight aradia/sollux.**

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chapter 4:

_chrome_

* * *

Aradia was so sick of being dead.

Sure, Equius might've argued otherwise due to her robot body, but really, it was practically the same. She couldn't _feel_ like she could before. She couldn't do anything like she could before.

And she hated it.

Being stuck in this body that was all wires and chrome plating was only slightly better than being a ghost. At least she had a better control of handling things physically — which was, really, the only upside.

She almost felt bad for Sollux, but of course, she couldn't. Though, she knew, deep down how she felt about him — she could remember, of course, what it felt like to love. But it wasn't the same.

And anyway, he seemed to move on rather quickly. It didn't bother her as much as it should have.

But hey, that was the story of her life.

(Or, well, lack thereof.)


	5. elegant

**disclaimer: oh, no no no.  
summary: Between the good and the bad, sometimes they just all wished they could go home.  
notes1: well, i'm sure i would've thought of this idea anyway, buuuut i asked the other half to tell me what to write anyway.  
notes2: this totally turned out way different than it was suppose to. woops.  
pairing: kanaya/rose.**

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chapter 5:

_elegant_

* * *

As she stares at the dull gray of the mysterious room inside the hive-like compound on the meteor, Kanaya listens to the sound of Terezi's almost manic giggles from the next room to the south; to the low murmurs of Vriska's seduction to the north; to the attempts Karkat makes at being quiet to the east.

And to the west, nothing.

Of course.

To the west is the hallway, and everyone is already in bed — now, whether they're sleeping or not is another story. To the west, it is perfectly silent, and Kanaya tries to focus on that, rather than the tones of distinct _pleasure_ from all other directions.

She was sick of everything that had to do with any of the fucking quadrants, quite frankly.

"Always the auspitice, never the matesprit," she says to herself with what she thinks is a sarcastic smirk. She thinks that's something of a quote that one of those human "parent" figures would say.

"Sounds like an ironic catchphrase."

Kanaya bolts up to a sitting position, whipping her head to look at her now open door. Rose is leaning against it, the hint of a smile on her face.

"Of course," the blonde says, strolling into the room and closing the door behind her, "I only say that because that's what Dave would say. He's rubbed off on me a tad, I suppose."

"He is your ecto-brother," Kanaya responds, awkwardly looking in any direction except toward _her_. "You should feel similar in personality by at least a small amount. Of course, that's only a calculated number based off of research from human siblings."

The troll nervously looks up under her black lashes at Rose, who now sits across from her on her bed. The usually silent woman, who is seldom seen away from a computer screen or a book, stares at Kanaya's fabric covered room. She smiles fondly at the exotic splashes of color found here-and-there; at the strips of cotton and polyester discarded carelessly on the floor; at the half-pinned mannequins (that were mysteriously and conveniently placed on the meteor) with haphazardly hanging scraps of clothing; and at the design blueprints pinned up everywhere on the walls.

Finally, Rose turns her head toward Kanaya, that small smile still on her face. "Researched calculations are usually a bit accurate."

Kanaya knows that unless someone knew how to search for it, they wouldn't see that smile. It barely there in the first place, but anyone who had been around the blonde for more than a day knew that a smile was not a normal occurrence for her. Especially with their impending doomsday and all. It was hard for anyone to smile, really.

"True," she replies, her eyes not leaving Rose's pale face. "However, in studies that involve the human emotion, results are not always completely accurate."

Of course, that was probably why everyone practically devoted themselves to finding matesprit's or kismesis' or moirail's. For the sex and the romance and the hate and the friendship to keep them from thinking about anything but what was really happening unless they needed to. (And nobody needed auspitices anymore.)

"True," Rose agrees, inching herself toward Kanaya in a way that she most likely presumes is subtle. To Kanaya's calculating mind, it isn't. "The human emotion is really a fragile thing."

She had always thought it ridiculous how obsessed everyone had become with finding relationships through practically anybody and everybody. Even through their frequent "meetings" — their attempts to come up with a plan to destroy Bec Noir, when in reality it was just lots of arguing, lots of fights, lots of sloppy make-outs, and lots of getting nothing done — immediately after being adjourned, everyone would just get back to flirting and hate-dating, instead of trying to come up with new ideas for the next meeting like they were _supposed _to. Her and Rose were the only ones that had kept themselves from the gushing flurry of desperate hormones, occupying themselves by sewing and designing for herself, and knitting and reading for Rose.

"Quite." Kanaya avoids her eyes again, instead swaying (was she swaying? or was that just her sash making that noise?) over to one of her many mannequins and displaying one of her more finished pieces for Rose. "I'm making this for you."

Yes, her and Rose were the only sane ones in the entire group. They weren't distracted with any ideas of silly things like being matesprits, notwithstanding the fact that she was human and it wouldn't do for her.

"Oh?" Rose says, with her pink lips and her long lashes. "For me?"

They weren't going to let silly things like hormones rule them, like all the other idiots on the meteor.

"Yes." Kanaya purses her own lips nervously, which are painted jade today. "I was hoping you could try it on, so that I could have the measurements exactly right. These mannequins aren't fitted for everyone personally."

But even though she doesn't want to let herself become overrun by thoughts like these, Kanaya thinks about how absolutely, irrevocably, and beautifully elegant Rose is. Even in her heavy garb, she can see every detail about the blonde's body as she walks toward Kanaya. The strong, yet feminine shoulders attempted to be hidden through a slouching habit; the gentle swell of breasts covered by layers of shirts; the soft curve of a narrow waist into slender hips through a thick sash; the shapely legs as they swish in the ankle-length skirt.

"Of course," Rose replies, with that same, barely-there smile that lets Kanaya (who's flushing a dark jade) know it's real. "I would love to, especially for a beautiful, handmade outfit that will soon be mine."

She even knows the beautiful features of her face, clear as an Earthen stream and bright as the Trollian sun. The subtle concave arch of her nose, before ending in what she heard was called a "button-nose"; the soft flutter of her blonde eyelashes against her cheek; the occasional spatter of freckles against the otherwise pale skin; the perfect mix of full and thin in her pink lips as she parted them just enough to show a flash of bright teeth; the curve of her jawline until it ended in a perfect chin, not too angular, but not too round.

"You are so very kind," she says, taking off the pins on the dress, trying to get ahold of herself before even attempting to look at Rose again. "Step up on my platform, please."

She can almost hear the smile in Rose's voice.

"Of course."

A rustle of fabric, the quiet tapping of shoes against the platform, then silence.

As Kanaya bundles up the fabric (carefully, of course) in her arms, she gives herself one more deep breath to calm her emotions. She turns around with that same faint smile that Rose herself wears.

_Thunk_.

The almost-completed dress drops to the ground, and Kanaya is blinking rapidly, jade darkening in her slate-grey cheeks, trying to look _anywhere_ but at _her_. However, despite all her efforts, she can't stop herself from looking back, from stealing glance after glance at the glorious sight before her.

She can see everything that was once concealed in the heap of clothes that now lay on the floor. The soft, inviting appeal of her bare neck; the sharp expanse of her collarbone; the gentle flesh of the gap between her breasts; the flat expanse of her stomach; the slender curves of her hips to her thighs to her calves.

Kanaya purses her lips and tries to form words. Any words, really.

"Uhm, ah. Oh. Ahm, I — uhm."

Finally, her eyes stick to Rose face, which is smiling — or is it smirking? She can't quite tell. She steps toward Kanaya, and in her mind she steps with an elegant chiffon nightdress draping over her smooth legs like a goddess.

"Do you get it yet?" Rose asks, with emotions that Kanaya thinks she can finally read burning behind her eyes (which are, really, very close to her). "You know I hate being blunt."

"I apologize."

She chuckles, then smiles that breathtaking stretch of lips and cheeks, and wraps her arms around Kanaya's neck.

"Apology accepted," she murmurs against the troll's lips, pressing against them firmly.

Kanaya's eyes flutter short of their own accord and she gently places her hands on Rose's pale waist, as if she were afraid of breaking her. Her lips are softer than Kanaya could have imagined, even in the fantasies she allowed herself to delude in late at night.

As they pull away from each other, and their eyes meet, Kanaya licks her lips and decides that it might not be so bad to get lost in romance for a while.


	6. inadequate

**disclaimer: yeah…no…  
summary: Between the good and the bad, sometimes they just all wished they could go home.  
notes1: thank god for that woman.  
notes2: john is really ooc and i apologize.  
pairing: karkat/john.**

* * *

chapter 6:

_inadequate_

* * *

**- ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 2:14 am -**

EB: hey karkat!

EB: :D

CG: HEY ASSHOLE.

CG: HOW ARE YOU ON YOUR LONELY ABANDONED SHIP?

CG: LONELY AND ABANDONED?

CG: I FUCKING BET.

EB: you are really, really mean sometimes.

EB: :(

CG: YOU DON'T FUCKING SAY.

CG: HOW LONG HAVE WE KNOWN EACH OTHER NOW?

CG: DID IT REALLY TAKE YOU THAT FUCKING LONG TO FIGURE IT OUT?

CG: YOU ARE STUPIDER THAN I ORIGINALLY THOUGHT.

EB: fuck you, too!

EB: i've known that for a while

EB: i was just making a repeated observation

EB: gosh

CG: YEAH, WELL.

CG: THAT'S REALLY A POINTLESS FUCKING OBSERVATION BY NOW.

CG: I REALLY AM AN ASSHOLE.

EB: you don't fucking say.

CG: TOUCHE.

EB: i don't understand how you can continually call yourself an asshole

EB: yet not try to fucking do anything about it.

CG: YEAH, WELL.

CG: I DON'T REALLY KNOW EITHER.

CG: IT'S NOT SOMETHING I CAN PARTICULARLY HELP.

EB: what are you talking about?

EB: you can always try to make yourself less of an asshole.

EB: it's called self-help.

EB: or something like that.

CG: IT'S KIND OF AN IMPULSE THING, REALLY.

CG: ALSO, IT DOESN'T HELP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU.

EB: ?

CG: UH, YOU KNOW.

EB: no, i really don't.

CG: THAT QUADRANT THING I TOLD YOU ABOUT.

CG: THAT I HAVEN'T MENTIONED SINCE.

EB: oh.

EB: the hate-date thing.

CG: YEAH, THAT.

EB: i told you

EB: i'm not a homosexual.

CG: YEAH, WELL.

CG: I'M SORRY THAT YOUR SILLY HUMAN SOCIAL IDEALS DISCRIMINATE BETWEEN GENDER FOR SEXUAL PREFERENCE.

CG: AND QUITE FRANKLY IT'S NOTHING SOMETHING I CAN HELP.

EB: how is it not something you can help?

CG: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY FUCKING ASKING ME THIS QUESTION.

CG: OKAY.

CG: IT'S LIKE THE TROLL EQUIVALENT OF…

CG: FUCK, WHAT ARE THEY CALLED?

CG: SOUL MATESPRITS OR WHATEVER

EB: soul mates?

CG: YEAH, THAT.

EB: okay, well based on what you told me

EB: how can it be a soul "mate" if you can have four of them.

EB: mate is singular.

CG: LOOK AT YOU

CG: YOU KNOW YOUR FUCKING PARTS OF SPEECH.

CG: I'M SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU.

CG: ANYWAY, DUMBASS

CG: THEY ALL SERVE DIFFERENT FUCKING PURPOSES

CG: MATESPRITS ARE MORE OF THE ROMANTIC TYPE

CG: MORE LITERALLY LIKE THE SOULMATE SHIT

CG: KISMESIS HATE EACH OTHER

CG: BUT IN A GOOD WAY

EB: …in a good way.

EB: please, find me another human euphuism

CG: LIKE UH

CG: HATE SEX

CG: THAT'S THE ONLY PROPER IDEA I CAN FIND OF IT.

EB: and that's what you want.

EB: from me.

EB: who is not homosexual.

CG: WELL, I MEAN OBVIOUSLY THINGS WOULDN'T GO THAT FUCKING FAST.

CG: I'M NOT A FUCKING WHORE.

CG: OBVIOUSLY WE WOULD ARGUE A FUCKLOAD AT FIRST.

CG: LIKE WE ARE NOW.

EB: oh god

EB: don't say that

CG: SHUT UP, ASSHOLE.

CG: AND THEN WHEN WE PROBABLY FINALLY MEET, WE'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER

CG: A LOT.

EB: that sounds okay.

CG: AND THEN EVENTUALLY IN THE MIDST OF FIGHTING WE'LL START FEELING EACH OTHER UP.

CG: AND THEN THE SLOPPY HATE MAKEOUTS

CG: AND HATEDATES

CG: AND BEFORE YOU FUCKING KNOW IT WE'RE HAVING VIOLENT HATESEX

EB: you sound like you've thought about this a lot.

CG: FUCK YOU.

EB: no, no, seriously

EB: not trying to mock you right now

CG: WELL, OKAY, MAYBE.

CG: I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK ELSE HAVE I HAD TO DO OTHER THAN TO THINK ABOUT IMPENDING DOOM?

CG: SORRY I TRY TO FUCKING MAKE MYSELF HAPPY ONCE IN A WHILE.

EB: that makes you happy?

EB: knowing that you'll have someone to hate for forever?

EB: that's kind of fucked up.

CG: I GUESS YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND CONSIDERING YOU ARE HUMAN.

CG: BUT UNTIL WE LANDED ON THIS METEOR AND HAD ACCESS TO ALL OF YOUR TIMELINES

CG: I THOUGHT I WOULD FUCKING NEVER HAVE A KISMESIS

EB: why is having a kismesis so special to you?

EB: wouldn't it be better to have a matesprite or whatever the hell you call them?

CG: MATESPRIT

CG: WELL, FOR MOST TROLLS THEY WOULD RATHER HAVE A MATESPRIT FIRST THEN FILL ALL THEIR OTHER QUADRANTS

CG: ALTHOUGH WHEN YOU FIND SOMEONE TO FILL A QUADRANT YOU DON'T REALLY TELL THEM TO FUCKING SIT AND WAIT FOR LITTLE WHILE YOU TRY TO FIND YOUR FUCKING MATESPRIT

CG: BUT SERIOUSLY, JOHN, HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN ME?

CG: ALL I HAVE IS FUCKING HATE IN ME

CG: WHY WOULDN'T I JUMP AT THE CHANCE FOR A FUCKING KISMESIS?

EB: true.

EB: but, why me?

CG: FUCK, JOHN

CG: YOU THINK IF I KNEW THAT I WOULD FIGURE OUT A WAY TO MAKE IT NOT YOU?

CG: BECAUSE YOU'RE SO FUCKING UNWILLING

EB: sorry, this dog just doesn't bark that way

CG: OH, YOU'RE SO FUCKING FUNNY.

CG: REALLY, I'M SO FUCKING AMUSED.

EB: just saying.

CG: YEAH, WELL.

CG: I'M JUST SAYING THAT IF I HAD A FUCKING CHOICE AT WHO MY KISMESIS WAS IT WOULD NOT FUCKING BE YOU

CG: BECAUSE IF I HAD A FUCKING CHOICE I WOULD CHOOSE SOMEONE WHO WOULD WANT TO BE MY KISMESIS

CG: INSTEAD OF YOUR SHITTY ASS.

CG: YOUR SHITTY INSENSITIVE ASS THAT DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE FEELINGS THAT OTHERS DON'T HAVE A CHOICE OVER.

CG: I'M SORRY I'M NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.

CG: THAT I'M SO FUCKING INADEQUATE JUST BECAUSE I'M A GUY.

CG: EVEN THOUGH FUCKING FEELINGS SHOULDN'T BE DISCERNED BY SOMEONE'S GENDER.

CG: FUCKING ASSHOLE.

EB: woah

EB: uh, sorry

CG: YOU'RE SORRY?

CG: FUCK YOU.

CG: I'M SO FUCKING DONE WITH YOU.

CG: WHY DID YOU OF ALL PEOPLE HAVE TO BE MY KISMESIS?

CG: YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING DICK.

EB: look

EB: i never meant for this

CG: I FUCKING DIDN'T EITHER.

CG: YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME AS MUCH AS I FUCKING AM STUCK WITH YOU.

CG: GODDAMNIT.

CG: SHIT

CG: FUCK.

CG: UGH, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT

CG: YOU NEVER FUCKING EVEN TRY

CG: AND IT'S ALREADY LIKE THIS

CG: UGH.

EB: …okay, i'm not following anymore

CG: NOTHING.

CG: YOU WOULDN'T EVEN FUCKING UNDERSTAND ANYWAY

EB: maybe i would if you said something and told me what was wrong

EB: i wanna be your friend

EB: i just don't wanna be your kismesis

CG: NO.

CG: JUST FUCKING FORGET IT.

**- carcinoGeneticist [CG] disconnected from ectoBiologist [EB] at 2:36 am -**

Karkat shoves the keyboard away from him and slams his desk in frustration. He holds a hand over his flushed face, illuminated in the darkness only by the measly light of the computer screen.

He wants to cry out of humiliation.

Even from so far away, without even realizing it, that stupid fucking John Egbert has managed to, once again, not only hurt his pretty, insignificant feelings, but give him one of the most painfully hard bonebulges of his life.

_Fuck that fucking asshole. Fuck him so much. _

But then again, that was all he wants, wasn't it? But no, _that dog doesn't fucking bark that way_.

And Karkat cries into his palms because it's not fucking fair, it was never fucking fair — why isn't he just _fucking good enough_?

Because no matter how hard he tries, he can never get enough of that stupid fucking John Egbert.


	7. unexplainable

**disclaimer: not l'andrew.  
summary: Between the good and the bad, sometimes they just all wished they could go home.  
notes1: well, i don't usually do this pairing, but hey, why the fuck not.  
pairing: vriska/terezi.**

* * *

chapter 7:

_unexplainable_

* * *

Vriska crushes her against hallway corridor right beside her room, and Terezi does nothing smile that same maniacal grin that Vriska just fucking hates.

"Why aren't you fucking fighting back?" she spats, trying to push the blind troll even farther into the wall, even as she's flush against it. Terezi giggles like she's insane, and Vriska throws her as hard as she can once more before letting go and gripping her head in frustration. "Are you fucking _stupid_ or something?"

_Thu-clack_!

Her head stings and when she touches the epicenter of the pain, her hand comes back coated in royal blue. She looks up, still wincing, back at Terezi.

That same stupid fucking grin. She loathes it.

Terezi's holding her cane that's decorated with a splat of blue on the top, and that's so obviously what hit her. (_That bitch_, Vriska thinks.) It seems taunting as she reaches out and licks up the blood with an accompanying hum of pleasure.

"Fruity," she says, in that scratchy (fucking _intolerable_), arrogant voice. "Just like _you_."

Vriska leaps up and forward out at her, grabbing Terezi by the hair and the neck, the rest of her squirming body held in a leg lock. Oh, Vriska has her now, that bitch will _deserve_ what she fucking gets —

But Terezi reaches up and grabs Vriska by the hair and pulls her face down enough to get a good lick at her cheek, just brushing her tongue at a corner of her bright blue lips.

And Vriska pulls away suddenly, startled, flushing a deep blue within her cheeks. She opens and closes her mouth several times, trying to crawl away from her offender, who is cackling silently.

"What the fuck, Pyrope?" she shouts, not wanting to acknowledge her blush. "Why'd you fucking lick me?"

"This tongue is infamous for a reason, Serket," is the only response the Libra offers, licking her lips with said tongue. She crawls forward toward Vriska (_holy fuck this girl is batshit_) and shoves her down to the floor.

_Wrong fucking move_.

Vriska could deal with being seduced by her kismesis — despite that they hadn't gotten to that point in their relationship (_yet_) — but there was no fucking way she was going to be _bottom_. She flips them over so that it's _her_ towering over Terezi, her long hair creating almost a curtain around their faces.

Terezi smirks. "See, I knew you wanted me. Was it that hard to admit it?"

Vriska wants to scream.

Her undeniable attraction to this fucking horrid individual was so unexplainable that she didn't know why she wants this blind little fuck so bad.

But she does, and she crushes her mouth to Terezi's anyhow.

"I fucking hate you," Vriska seethes into her ear.

Terezi just grins against the Scorpio's neck as she licks a long line up her jawline. "I know, and I love it."

_Fucking intolerable bitch_.


	8. family

**disclaimer: you know, i really run out of things to say on this. but no.  
summary: Between the good and the bad, sometimes they just all wished they could go home.  
notes1: ha, this is not going to be a pairing chapter, fuck you Natasha.  
notes2: she tried, really, she did.**

* * *

chapter 8:

_family_

* * *

They sit on one of the few actual "edges" of the asteroid — which is really more like a cliff than anything else — as they stare out into the endless abyss of stars and wait.

They're not quite sure what they're waiting for. They're certainly not waiting for their imminent doom, or for the thriving romance of everyone else on the asteroid to be thrown into their faces like always. They're also not waiting for some secret salvation to pick them up and put them back on Earth like Sburb never existed, like the trolls never existed.

He has an arm wrapped around her shoulder, like they're close. She's leaning into him with her eyes closed, like she's comfortable with him.

"Dave," she says, her voice threatening to crack. "What are we going to do?"

He sighs, but she can't tell where he's looking under his dark sunglasses.

"I don't know, Rose," he says, as if years of exhaustion are finally hitting him. "I really don't fucking know."

And once more, they sit there in silence.

And wait.


	9. tired

**disclaimer:**** nope.  
****notes1:**** this was originally going to be a roxy/jake  
****notes2:**** BUT TEREZI YOU'LL SEEE-E-E YOU BELONG WITH MEEEE-E-E  
****notes3:**** i enjoy cantabileGato too much  
****notes4:**** this is my first time doing 2****nd**** person. sorry.  
****summary:**** Between the good and the bad, sometimes they just all wished they could go home.**  
**pairing:**** slight karkat/terezi; side!dave/terezi  
**

* * *

chapter 9:  
_tired_

* * *

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you peek into the lab for what must be the sixth time that hour, trying to find a way past all of the…interspecies sloppy make-outs. Yeah, that was a thing. That was happening.

And of course, luckily (you wouldn't dare say _ironically_) and painstakingly for you, it was happening between that douchenozzle fucking coolkid Dave Strider and the troll you were _hoping_ to try and make your matesprit, Terezi Pyrope.

But you don't hold any bad feelings. No, not at all!

They had been making out for, what, the past hour and a half? And it was _sloppy_. Terezi's tongue all over the place, both pairs of hands groping all over the place. It made you _sick_ at all the places that you could never be in without wanting to gag anymore. And all you wanted to do was fucking work a little!

(If work meant pester and bitch at people, then yes, _work_.)

Well, okay, it made you a little more sick at the fact of all the ways he was defiling Terezi.

But hey, that was her choice, wasn't it? You had no control whatsoever over the free soul of Terezi fucking Pyrope. But hey, maybe it would've been okay to fucking warn a troll that one's been hinting at some flushing that it was all over and ditch you for the fucking candy red coolkid.

Yeah, you _so_ didn't hate Dave Strider's fucking inferior human guts. At all. No fucking hatred with you, happy-go-fucking-lucky Karkat Vantas.

You walk back to the hall outside of the lab, sitting against the wall of the hallway and just trying to _breathe_. It was infuriating how long this bullshit was taking. Couldn't they just take it somewhere else, where they _wouldn't_ be scarring your brain and the sanctity of the lab? It wasn't like it was a secret or something, she went around licking the fuck out of him all day, everyday!

You close your eyes for what seems like a second, and practically jump out of your skin when you open your eyes. "What the fuck, Terezi? Shit!"

She gives you that weird question mark mouth that seems to be anatomically impossible. "Karkat? What are you doing here?"

You roll your eyes and don't look at her. In the midst of not looking at her, you notice that the redblood fucker is nowhere to be found.

"I was waiting to use the lab," you say in an obvious tone, and try to suppress that weird flush of red that's trying to collect on your cheeks.

She just giggles in that weird, maniacal way she does _everything_ with and sits down next to you. You think your face turns horrified when she sets her head on your shoulder, like she's some sweet little woman who just wants true love with the fucking perfect guy (a.k.a.: _you_) and _didn't_ just come out of sloppy makeouts with another dude.

"Sorry," she says, and her voice isn't as coarse as it usually is, and she sounds genuine and sincere —

And then she's holding your hand and reaching up to kiss you and _you just can't take it anymore_.

"No!" you shout, scrambling away from her and standing up. "No! I am _not_ getting into this shit with you, Terezi!"

"What do you mean?" she says, as if she doesn't already know.

"You know very well what the fuck I mean!" Her frown is enough for you to know that she does. "I am fucking done with all this bullshit between you, me, and Strider! I'm done!"

"Karkat," she says, scowling now, "it's just like you and John! You can't judge me!"

You chuckle darkly. "No, Terezi, it's not the fucking same at all! _I _actually want you two in separate quadrants! You and him…I don't even know what the fuck is going on, but it's not fucking right!"

"That's bullshit, Karkat!" She's standing up now, too. "He's my friend! I just — "

"You don't fucking make out with your 'friend' all the gogdamn time! Jegus, Terezi, I know you're fucking blind but everyone else isn't!"

The look on her face is almost enough to make you take back everything you said and beg for her forgiveness.

Almost.

Before she says anything, you turn your back to her. "Come talk to me if you've decided you've had enough of him. For good."

And you walk away.

You are so fucking tired of always being her second choice, of never being fucking good enough for anyone. You had her fucking first, she was yours, you were hers, and it was all going to be okay and then that little fucking Strider came in and stole her from you.

You find yourself knocking on the door to Gamzee's room, and he opens the door, takes a look at your face, and gestures to his pile. "Need a motherfuckin' feelings jam, brother?"

"Yeah, fuck yeah, I do."


End file.
